I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize