I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize