My hand turned me down
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
