Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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