is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize