i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
