Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
