I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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