Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
