someone get that fucking seahorse.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
