Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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