He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
