sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
