the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
