I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
