do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
