I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
