They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
