what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
