I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
