Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
