I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
