How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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