I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
