Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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