That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
