How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
