This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
