I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
