Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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