Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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