Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
