I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Two words: blizzard sex
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
