Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize