ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
