yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
