Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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