whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
