READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
