I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
