btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
