Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
