I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
