dude i'm inner monologue high
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
