i dedicated my morning wood to you.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
