Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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