Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
