You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
