I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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