I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
