I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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