their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
