we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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