Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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