Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
smell my finger.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
