We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
