Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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