i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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