So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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