I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Randomize
