Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
