I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
