i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to make a zoo with you.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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