Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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