And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
